In My Fear And Flaws.

Aug. 19th, 2017 12:14 pm
rionaleonhart: okami: amaterasu is startled. (NOT SO FAST)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
I recently had a conversation with my housemate about how extremely screwed up the Animorphs books were, containing the line, 'Yeah, that's not the first genocide in the Animorphs books.' It reminded me that I once wrote an Animorphs-inspired short story for school, and my English teacher called my parents because she was worried about my psychological health. (Look, we were prompted to write about nightmares! Were you expecting something nice?)

Seriously, though. There's one book where a kid's parents have been enslaved by mind-controlling aliens, so he goes, 'Well, I'll just murder this terminally injured kid and morph into him and go "look, I've made a miraculous recovery!" and then I'll have his parents,' and our heroes end up trapping him permanently in the body of a rat on an isolated island, which gets a reputation for being haunted because passing sailors can hear the rat-kid's psychic screams. One of our heroes, in rat form, is forced to chew through her own tail so their horrible plan will work. I was maybe ten years old when I read this.

Wait, are the Animorphs books the origin of my fondness for the Teenagers Suffering Horribly genre? They're definitely the origin of my writing style; the influence is really, really obvious when I reread my early Pokémon fanfiction. I've kept the 'very straightforward prose, lots of dialogue' aspects to this day. (And, on a content note, I'm still writing about teenagers suffering horribly.)


The theme of the inevitable Linkin Park segment in this entry is 'songs Linkin Park inexplicably never released on an album and don't have on their official YouTube channel EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE GREAT', because I went on a desperate hunt after hearing 'No Roads Left'. I've never heard Mike sing like this before! He usually raps or sings more gently; I had no idea he could manage something this desperate. And 'Across the Line' (warning for suicidal themes) is easily polished enough to be an album song; the buildup of the instruments is great. (The cats just had a DRAMATIC BATTLE while I was listening to it, and it made for the most incredible background music.)

Moving to some softer songs, 'She Couldn't' (again, suicidal themes) is also very good, although at least I can see why this one never ended up on an album: it was recorded in the Hybrid Theory era and wouldn't have fit with the harder sound of their other songs at the time, and the sampling might have created legal issues. And I love the instrumentation and singing on Blackbirds, although the lyrics hurt.

(Hard to think of any song from this band where the lyrics don't hurt. I'm doing a little better now (writing that horrible Until Dawn timeloop fic was incredibly cathartic and helped me claw myself out of a bad psychological dip), but it's been a really tough month. Chester's death in many ways feels like the death of my childhood, and it also got tangled up in my head with the death of a friend of mine under similar circumstances years ago, so I've been grieving on a weird number of levels.

WAIT, CURSES, I GOT SAD IN AN ENTRY AGAIN AND THE RULES SAY I HAVE TO POST SOMETHING CUTE TO MAKE UP FOR IT. Here are Chester and Joe putting on a stupid puppet show with puppets of the band members. I love the 'making fun of friends you know really well' feel of it. I also enjoyed Chester bouncing around ridiculously to a silly version of 'One Step Closer'.)

Femslash Exchange 2017

Aug. 14th, 2017 09:59 pm
ideallyqualia: (Default)
[personal profile] ideallyqualia
This is a dear creator letter for Femslash Ex 2017. The requested fandoms are: Bravely Default, Haikyuu!!, Boku no Hero Academia, Izetta the Last Witch, RWBY, Magical Girl Raising Project.

Coming soon!

Fanfiction: New Game? (Until Dawn)

Aug. 14th, 2017 10:02 pm
rionaleonhart: okami: amaterasu is startled. (NOT SO FAST)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Taking things out on fictional characters? I don't know what you're talking about. At least I've started writing again, I suppose.


Title: New Game?
Fandom: Until Dawn
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2,500
Summary: Mike is caught in a time loop. Maybe this means he can save everyone. Then again, maybe it doesn't.


New Game? )
rionaleonhart: top gear: the start button on a bugatti veyron. (going down tonight)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Why have I created an online quiz that helps you decide which Linkin Park song to listen to? Good question. I don't know. The latest in my increasingly laboured series of excuses to talk non-stop about Linkin Park's music, I suppose. But here it is, in any case.

I made this and then went, 'Wow, what a colossal waste of time, I can't believe I spent five hours on this,' and a few hours later I went, 'God, I've got Chester's acoustic "Let Down" stuck in my head and for some reason it's emotionally devastating me. I need to listen to something to drive it out, but I don't know what! If only I had some sort of guide to - HOLD ON.' (It took me to 'Forgotten'. Always a good choice.)

It's not a definitive guide; it's missing some absolute classics ('Somewhere I Belong' is the worst omission). But it's got a reasonable selection: about forty songs (not counting joke songs), at least five from each studio album. Very useful if you know enough about Linkin Park to go 'I want a Chester song' or 'I want a Mike song' but somehow not enough to go 'I want this song specifically'. I'll be honest: this is absolutely pointless. But it was fun to work on. My favourite question is 'How much do you want to feel Chester hates you? [a lot/incandescently]'


In other news, I played a bit of Transistor recently, although I don't know when or if I'll have the opportunity to continue. 'Why does my sword have an opinion on food?' I asked at one point, puzzled. I was happily 'shipping the main character with her sword, but I 'shipped them substantially less after I realised the sword was actually a person, rather than just being a talking sword. That's much less fun. I did appreciate the inclusion of a 'hum a tune' button, though (even if nothing will ever beat the 'tell a terrible joke' button in The Last of Us: Left Behind).


Finished the first series of Pretty Little Liars! It is still delightfully silly. At moments I've found myself slightly 'shipping Hanna and Emily. To be honest, at moments I've found myself slightly 'shipping all four of them. They should all make out. And then A should use that for blackmail purposes, obviously.

I'm so sad that this is never going to happen.

Ezra has transferred schools, so he's no longer Aria's teacher and their relationship is now legitimate. I really hope it comes out at some point that they were involved while he was teaching her. What's the point of including a teacher-and-student romance plotline if you never get the enormous scandal of it coming to light? 'OH NO, ARIA'S JEALOUS' seems to be the only Ezra/Aria plotline we ever get, and 'OH NO, YOU'RE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE NOW' would be much more fun.

WIPs

Aug. 11th, 2017 05:11 pm
ideallyqualia: (Default)
[personal profile] ideallyqualia
Recently I managed to cut my WIP list down to the ones I really want to write. The rest got scrapped and chucked into the abyss (my Evernote account; it has 2k+ notes so it pretty much is an abyss). There's nothing that gets me going and motivated like publicly proclaiming I'm going to write something, so I've decided to publish my WIP list as a DW post so I'm encouraged to write according to my public intentions. Can't back down now, can I?

The WIP List )

Life Updates

Aug. 9th, 2017 04:36 pm
ideallyqualia: (Default)
[personal profile] ideallyqualia
Nothing much is happening IRL; my summer job ends this Friday, school starts the 22nd, I've started reading some new manga, and summer gacha in Granblue Fantasy is ending soon.

Animanga )

Mobages )

Fandom )

Sifting Through The Wreckage.

Aug. 8th, 2017 10:42 pm
rionaleonhart: top gear: the start button on a bugatti veyron. (going down tonight)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
I have now listened through all seven Linkin Park studio albums from beginning to end! I've bookmarked a... frankly ridiculous number of tracks, although most of them were in my bookmarks before I actively started listening to full albums. (Counting non-album tracks, I have bookmarked over fifty Linkin Park songs. Fifty. There are more than half a hundred Linkin Park songs I love. They are the best band ever and all the other bands are just going to have to deal with it.)

Here is my definitive, unfaultable ranking of which albums are the best, determined through the following extremely scientific method:

METHODOLOGY: Which album have I bookmarked the most tracks from?
CONCLUSION: That one's the best.

I am a woman of simple needs. I don't care about how well the songs flow together or how coherent the album's themes feel. I just want a load of songs I like to listen to. As such, I am not going to make adjustments based on the total number of tracks. Screw your percentages. A twelve-track album on which I like eleven tracks is better than a ten-track album on which I like all ten, because it gives me more songs to listen to endlessly. If you think that's unfair, One More Light, you shouldn't have skimped on the tracks!

A couple of caveats:

- I listened to Hybrid Theory from beginning to end many times as a teenager, so I think of it more as a full album than as a set of individual songs. I originally just bookmarked the album playlist. Since then, I've bookmarked a few particular favourites, but I haven't been quite as diligent about going 'ooh, better hang on to this one' as I have been with songs from other albums, because I know I'm never going to lose a Hybrid Theory song; at some point, I'll listen to it in full again. Its position on the list of albums may therefore be lower than it deserves. (I hadn't realised until just now that I'd left the eternal classics 'Papercut' and 'Crawling' off my bookmark list. Better fix that.)

- The entire One More Light album is now pretty painful. I listened to it from beginning to end before we lost Chester, but I haven't been able to bring myself to since. There are songs on there I might decide to bookmark if I heard them another time or two (e.g. 'Battle Symphony'), but right now I just can't.

Weird discovery in the course of this adventure: 'New Divide' was never on a Linkin Park album? Really? Are you sure? I mean, I wasn't expecting 'Rolling in the Deep' or that silly song about jellyfish to be on any of their studio albums, but 'New Divide'?

I don't particularly expect anyone to be interested in this entry, but TOO BAD, I'M WRITING IT ANYWAY.


The definitive, absolute scientific ranking of Linkin Park albums. )


I found myself feeling unexpectedly chipper whilst compiling this entry! Chipperness has been in short supply for the last few weeks and I was terrified it might have fled me entirely, so this is great news. I just love this band! I love talking about this band! And maybe I can never enjoy them in the same way again, but I'm relieved to realise that doesn't necessarily mean I can't enjoy them at all.

And The Clouds Above Moved Closer.

Aug. 7th, 2017 11:38 am
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: sora, riku and kairi having a friendly chat. (and they returned home)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Having now listened to Minutes to Midnight from beginning to end: yep, favourite Linkin Park album. (Even if it contains 'Leave Out All the Rest' and 'Bleed It Out' and 'Shadow of the Day' in immediate succession, which is such a high concentration of agonising lyrics that it's almost hilarious.) 'Wake', 'Given Up' and 'In Between' are the only songs I didn't love enough to bookmark, and I still like them (and I have to respect Chester for holding that scream in 'Given Up' for an entire sixteen seconds). I'd never heard 'Valentine's Day' before; it's so pretty! (And heartbreaking. LIKE EVERYTHING.)

No more Linkin Park in this entry, I promise. (I wish this band could stop being my primary fandom. I'd sort of hoped my mind would go 'yikes, suppose I'd better latch onto something else' when they went from causing me joy to causing me intense sadness, but instead it's going 'NOPE, I'VE TAKEN OUT A SUBSCRIPTION AND THIS IS STILL THE ONLY THING YOU'RE ALLOWED TO CARE ABOUT.' I can't even distract myself by throwing myself into writing, because I can only write for whatever I'm currently fannish about, and writing Linkin Park fanfiction would be far too weird and upsetting! I mean, no offence, guys, I love you, but this has not been one of my better fandom experiences.)

(EDIT: Wait, I forgot the rule that I'm not allowed to be sad about Chester without also posting something cute about him! Swanning around in a cape.)


I really love the friendships at the heart of Pretty Little Liars. I'd assumed this was just going to be a show about awful people being awful! But instead it's largely about good people being awful, and that gives it a lot of charm. I suppose it appeals to me in the same way Dangan Ronpa and Higurashi do, although Pretty Little Liars doesn't contain quite as much murder. Here are some teenagers! They're largely good-hearted and they care about each other. Let's watch them make horrible, horrible mistakes.

My other favourite thing from Pretty Little Liars is A's increasingly stupid methods of sending messages. The best so far: sneaking a message into a fortune cookie. 'Writing a message on one of a fortune teller's tarot cards, apparently in the knowledge that that card will be deployed when one of the people you're blackmailing is having her fortune read' was also top-quality.


Although I tend to get more invested in good-hearted characters, I can appreciate the occasional awful person in fiction. Our household has been watching Gypsy on Netflix, or, as we've taken to calling it, Bad Decisions Therapist. It's very slow-paced and I might not have stuck with it if I hadn't been watching with my housemates, but I'm enjoying what a terrible person the main character (the titular bad decisions therapist) is. My favourite scene so far is her trying to drag details of her patient's sex life out of him because it's turning her on. She's not the worst fictional therapist you could go to, but only because Hannibal Lecter exists.

(...as a character. I don't think Hannibal Lecter actually exists.)

My housemate challenged me to write fanfiction about the protagonist playing 'fuck, marry, kill' with Hannibal (specifically of the television series Hannibal). Here is the terrible result:


"Okay," Jean says, trying to keep her smile under control. "It's unprofessional, I know, but... your patients. Fuck, marry, kill?"

Hannibal nods thoughtfully. He seems to be taking the question a little more seriously than she'd anticipated. "Will."

There's a pause.

"Wait, which one?" she asks.

"Will," Hannibal says.

Fandom Growth Exchange 2017

Aug. 6th, 2017 10:59 pm
ideallyqualia: (Default)
[personal profile] ideallyqualia
This is a dear creator letter for Fandom Growth Exchange 2017. The requested fandoms are: BIRDMEN, Bravely Default, Granblue Fantasy, Re:Creators, Starmyu, Boku no Hero Academia, Magical Girl Raising Project, 7th Dragon, Stella Glow, and WorldEnd.

Coming soon!